Another stressful day in traffic, bumper to bumper, pulling my hair out. The second the boat hits the water I can feel my blood pressure starting to drop. Plenty of wind this time, almost too much. Too bad I only had an hour before the sun went down. Some nice pics tho.

Like I needed another hobby.
What I did need was a way to clear my mind. This helps a little bit. I say “little bit”, for a toy boat this thing is huge. 32″ long. Doesn’t sound like much, but its 63″ from tip of the mast to bottom of the keel. She draws 13″ below the water line, and the mast is 43″ from the deck to the crow’s nest. Those of you who like to calculate I’s J’s P’s and E’s can do the math. Or I’ll tell you, it’s got roughly 500 square inches of sail area.
It doesn’t take much wind to get it going. Which is good, because there wasn’t any today. Still, it was relaxing.
Now if I can just get them to flood the retention pond at work…

Ahh my loyal readers. I expect to be off line for the next few days. Might be without power for a few days, and I doubt my el-cheapo UPS will keep the server going much more than 15 minutes. So if you come looking for HTCW only to find a broken URL don’t worry. I’ll be back!
As for myself, I’m not evacuating. This town is flippin out. I saw a lady buying lifejackets for her kids at walmart today!!! I was buying pop-tarts and snickers bars for myself.
Also, I am currently charging each person $5 for each utterance of “Hunker down” or “Batten the hatches”.

nineinchnails bitches!
The wrist bands to get on the floor actually said “Entering Moshing Area Is At Your Own Risk”. Yes it was, and it was worth it too. I got really close a few times, but it was too crazy to try whipping out my crappy camera phone. So most of these pics are from 5-7ppl back. I’m getting too old for the pit, all day I’ve had a head ache, my shoulders hurt, my knee won’t stop complaining, and my back feels like it was walked on. meh!

Bah, who am I kidding?
This thing will never get updated as long as I insist on sticking to the “through a cracked windhield” theme. I barely do 40miles a day now, and it’s the same 40 miles, nothing happens. So from now on this is all about me and my opinions and what happens and so what. I’m the only one who reads this anyways so why do you care???

Schwinn at the lake

Last Wednesday I had to find some way wear myself out so I could sleep before going to work that night. I thought a bike ride would do it. 2 hours later I found myself by a small lake, pond, something man made. I thought I’d take a pic to send to everyone I knew that was at work, then I thought to post it here.


          ,,,
         (  0)>
         /  \
  .~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
  |¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|
  |¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|¨|
  |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 /_____       _____\
|______)     (______|
|_______) * (_______|
 \_____)     (_____/
  ’.~~~~~.-.~~~~~.’
    \¨¨¨/   \¨¨¨/
     \¨/     \¨/
      |       |
     \|/     \|/
      ’       ’


  It was a beautiful sunny, summertime, Sunday morning so I went down the hill and saw a barrel of monkeys rolling in my direction. I said “Hi” and asked them what they were doing. They didn’t have an answer so I looked the other way and turned on the [No Exit] sign. This startled the audience and a riot nearly broke out of its cage. Reinforcements were sent in but it was too late and the situation escalated.
  About that time Dr. Murphy developed a new procedure for reversing the effects of graduating. Studies have found that the studious students aren’t always studying while being studied by the studiers. You are studding in the park when a far more studlier man walks up and tells you you’re not so much of a stud after all. “Hey dude, don’t call me dude!”
  Oh crap, I’m drooling…

I’m not sure who’s spud this is, but he seems to migrate around one of the common areas at work. The other nite I saw him standing there, and he looked like he should be holding something, so I gave him the pen. Then he looked like he should be writing something…

EAT
CHICKIN
NOT
POTATOZ

EAT
CHICKIN
NOT
POTATOZ

First of all, there’s no “fun” or “easy” way to take defensive driving, so get that silly thought out of your head right now. But there are some options…

• Take home or Online - You’re thinking I’ll take this video home, or I’ll log into this website and just take the test. Truly, a pidgin could pass the test w/out sitting through the course first. Sadly it doesn’t work this way. The whole point of Defensive Driving, atleast from the State’s point of view, is to waste 6 hours of your life. The sooner you resign yourself to that the easier this will be. It’s usually broken into segments, and the system won’t let you take each test until a certain amount of time has passed. That guaranties that you have to waste the full 6 hours. You think, “Well I’ll do something else and just take the test when it asks then go back to what I was doing.” Well you thought wrong. These videos will have something silly in the video. Like a guy in a silver leotard and cape carrying a blue rocking chair across the street. When you take the test one of the questions will ask you to describe the peculiar event. Its multiple choice so its dead easy if you watched the video, but difficult to guess if you didn’t watch it. Miss this question, and you fail the whole course.
• Independently owned Driving School - Well, its dry, dull, and painless. You sit in a room, probably on a folding chair, for the 6 hours and just bear it out. At the end you take a test, and if your IQ is over 15 you pass, and its over.
• Comedy Club - Oh, Comedy Defensive Driving! I’ll laugh for 6 hours and it’ll be a breeze! Well reality is going to slap you pretty hard for this one. First of all, noone can make this stuff funny. Besides, do you think the top-billed comedians get stuck teaching the defensive driving course? Well its just not funny, not funny at all. And what if you get thirsty or hungry? Well I hope you brought your own soda, oh wait, most comedy clubs won’t let you bring in outside food or drink. Well they’ll sell you a soda inside, at comedy club bar rates. And if you’re hungry there’s a bowl of peanuts and pretzels for around $5.
• Restaurant - Here’s the deal if you can find it. I once took defensive driving at a Pizza Hut that gave us free run of the buffet. It makes passing the time easier. Here in Houston you can take the course at a Fuddruckers. $35 gets you a large cup to fill up as many times as you want, a tray of fresh baked cookies at the front of the class, and a menu to circle what kind of burger you want for lunch, oh, and you get the defensive driving course for that $35 too. There’s a guy named Jim who works for TicketBlasters that teaches at the Fuddruckers near my house. He has a 3ring binder full of really cheesy jokes that are really bad, but at the same time he’s twice as funny as the “comedian” at the comedy club. I’ve actually taken this course from Jim more than once, so I know most of his jokes now, and he’s still funnier than the “comedian”. Plus the fresh cookies and big cheese burger and fries really help the day go by.

This one is less straight forward than the speeding ticket, but remember its still about the same thing, $$money$$. Oh ofcourse the city says its for “safety”, but we all know its about money. Just keep that in mind, and it’ll make this easier to understand.

• Argue with the metermaid - This doesn’t work, no matter how blatantly wrong the metermaid, err, “Parking Enforcement Officer” is. One time I had just parallel parked on the street and I hadn’t paid the meter yet because I was still gathering my things and was still in the car. In the minute that took a metermaid had already printed me out a ticket. The first I noticed of her was as she was placing the ticket under my windshield wiper. We got in a pretty good argument as you can image. I asked her if I was supposed to throw quarters at the meter as I was parallel parking? The ticket also stated “unattended vehicle”. When I asked her about that she said my windows were too dark and she couldn’t see me. Well, I have an inspection sticker that proves they’re the legal limit, and besides, my windshield isn’t tinted! Case closed right? Oh hell no, the story is that once the officer has printed the ticket, they can’t revoke it. Supposedly their ticket machine has already communicated with the city’s computer and the ticket is official. Now its up to you to go down to the court house and see a judge. (Not a real judge).
• Tear up the Ticket - Thats just stupid. That doesn’t make it go away. Infact the city purchased a truck a couple years ago with big cameras on either side. It drives slowly up the street reading license plates. If you have an unpaid ticket, the computer in the truck goes ‘DING’ and the officer stops and puts a boot on your car. To get the boot off you have to pay the original parking ticket, late fees, boot removal fees, etc etc. Your $60 or $70 ticket is now easily over $400 or even $700. If you don’t take care of this promptly, the city will tow and impound your vehicle, which raises the fees even more.
• Pay the Ticket - Well thats not exactly “beating” the ticket now is it? But if you don’t want the hassle, and have the money, then go ahead.
• Fight the Ticket - Now we’re talking. You go down there and give that judge hell! No, no, don’t do that. Its not a real judge, its not a real court, its not a real trial. Its an “instanter trial”. No jury, no nothing. Just you in a room sitting at a desk across from the “instanter judge”. Again, he’s an employee of the city, the city that wants your money, and the outcome of your case is entirely up to him. Oh you can appeal and get it into a real court, but now you’re spending more money than the parking ticket. So its a no-win situation right? Not completely. There are a few tips I can give you.
  1. Be polite, even engage in a little small talk, but very little. Don’t make this obvious. Going in there all pissed off and yelling at the “judge” won’t work. Because once you’ve pissed him off, your case is lost. The 2 or 3 ppl after you will probably lose too. If you hear someone in there yelling at one of the judges while you’re waiting your turn you might consider asking to come back a different day.
  2. If the ticket is truly erroneous, which is highly likely since most metermaids couldn’t hold down a job at a burger joint, take pictures. I got more than one ticket for parking in a commercial zone while my commercial parking permit ($150, payable to the city) was clearly visible in the windshield. A great picture showing the sign, the ticket, and the permit all in one shot got those dismissed. I still had to waste my time at the courthouse though. I got another ticket for parking in a “city vehicle only zone”. I had been parking there for years and it had never been a city vehicle zone before. So I got out, and sure enough I found a temporary sign, laying down, with a sandbag over it that said “city vehicle only zone”. It was just over 30 days later when I went to fight the ticket, and before I went to the courthouse I drove by, and sure enough that sign was still laying on the sidewalk. A picture of the sign, from within my windshield, showing that it was completely illegible from the viewpoint of my driver’s seat, got that one dismissed. I also pointed out to the “judge” that the sign was still on the ground and she called and got that straightened out while I was still in her office.
  3. Technicalities - So you don’t have pictures, and truly you may have been parked illegally. Well, its not all lost. Claiming a “discrepancy between two time pieces” sometimes works. All the judges “unofficially” will give you about 5 minutes leeway on the time. So if you parked on the street about 3:50, and even paid the meter, but that block became a tow-away zone between 4-6 and you got a ticket, and the time on the ticket is 4:04, chances are you’ll get dismissed. Remember to be polite. Sometimes the meters are inaccurate, if you have a quarter and a video camera and a stopwatch you can obtain proof of this by feeding and recording the meter. Playing it back on a portable dvd player or laptop for the judge can prove this. Notice how I said prove this? Use this only if the meter truly is inaccurate. I don’t lie, I don’t condone lying, and I’m sure as hell NOT suggesting that you lie to get out of a ticket.
  4. Ask for Leniency - So you’re guilty, you know it, and the “judge” knows it, but sometimes if you’re polite enough, and claim ignorance, and it won’t happen again, then sometimes the “judge” will cut the fee in half. Here’s the phrase to remember, especially if there were other vehicles on the same block. “I wasn’t impeding traffic”. I’ve had it cut in half a couple times, and it can’t hurt to try.

The ticket says I have 45 days to contest or pay, is that 45 calendar days or 45 business days? Well, I called the official 3-1-1 City of Houston Information Hotline and asked that very question. The operator told me it was in-fact 45 “working” days, so weekends and holidays didn’t count. Well, when I went to the courthouse to contest my ticket I was informed it was too late because 45 calendar days had passed. So which is it? I don’t know, I guess play it safe and go by calendar days. Luckily for me the “judge” was decent. First he wanted to stick to the calendar days and not let me off, but I pointed out that the 3-1-1 operator is by occupation a representative of the city.

There’s also a handful of “judges” in this office. There’s a short mexican guy with a big mustache who’s very reasonable and pretty lenient. There’s a taller more heavy-set mexican guy who’s convinced he’s right and you’re wrong, but if you’re polite and your logic is impeccable he can be swayed. There’s also a couple of black female judges who are about the same. Both can be nice depending on their moods, and sometimes are lenient when in a good mood. I really don’t want to sound mean or sexist, but don’t try logic with them, it’ll get you nowhere. I have gotten a little bit better over the years, and as such haven’t received a parking ticket in over 6 months, so its possible they may have hired different judges by now.

I have a small amount of experience on this subject, so I thought I’d share.
Obviously the best way to beat a speeding ticket is to avoid getting one in the first place. HPD has a few cops set aside specifically for “Traffic Enforcement”. You can tell these from other cops because the back of their squad car says, “Traffic Enforcement”. These guys have only one job, and thats create revenue, err, keep the roadways safe from nasty dangerous speeders. They usually work in pairs, so if you pass one already writing a ticket, don’t assume its safe to speed back up, his buddy is probably on the otherside of the next overpass.
But lets say he was extra sneaky and you got a ticket anyways. What are your options?

• Defensive Driving (aka Driver Safety Course) - This is really the easiest, especially if you were caught doing 20mph or more over the speed limit (more on that later). The officer will even give you a form and an envelope so you can opt for defensive driving through the mail without having to deal with the courthouse in person. This isn’t the cheapest option tho, the “fee” for this option is suspiciously alot like the fee for the ticket. So the city still gets what they were after, but atleast it keeps the ticket off your record, so you save money on insurance in the long run.
• Hire an attorney - This option can be cheaper than the Defensive Driving, but not always. There are plenty of law offices to choose from right across the street from the courthouse that specialize in traffic tickets. Corrigan charges $80, Kubosh charges $65, and the rest all charge right around there. I say go with the cheapest, because they all do the same thing. They re-schedule your hearing for a later date, you don’t even go to the original hearing. They get all their “cases” scheduled onto the same day. When you finally do end up in court, your attorney probably won’t even talk to you. They may call out your name to see if you’re present, but thats about it. It’s important that you don’t expect to go in there and “fight your case”. Because that’s not how it works. Your attorney isn’t just representing you today, he’s got alot of clients. So what he’ll do is track down the officer who wrote your ticket, and strike up a deal. Most likely he’s defending atleast 4 or 5 tickets from the same officer. So he’ll offer the officer the worst one (20mph or more over the speed limit remember?), if the officer will drop the other cases. If not he threatens to take each case to a jury trial, which will keep the officer tied up multiple days. Since the officer is only paid for so many hours in the court and not on the street, this always works. But what if you’re the poor soul who was doing 20mph or more over? Well, here’s how it goes, now the attorney wants to hear your story (not really) and then he tells you that you can never predict a jury, so lets work out a deal. This usually works out because the city wants your money more than they want to punish you. So he’ll start talking to the city attorney and the officer and the judge and they’ll all decide to allow you to take deferred adjudication, usually with the requirement that you take defensive driving. So now you’ve paid your $65 to the attorney, you end up posting bond with the court for your deferral (same amount as the offense, not returnable), paying for defensive driving, plus you wasted the entire day sitting on a hard wooden pew because your case got pushed back to the end of the docket. So, if you were the one going 20mph or more over the speed limit, take Defensive Driving and save yourself the time and money. If you were only going 10 or 15mph or the speed limit, the $65 is worth it, because you’ll probably get dismissed. Note that what the officer “officially” wrote your speed as is most likely less than what you were actually doing. There’s probably a higher number in the corner of the ticket. He does this so you can take the defensive driving and the city gets their money with no fuss, but if you fight the ticket, he’ll stick to your “actual” speed, which will be harder to fight.
• Defending Yourself - I don’t recommend this route. I’ve done it, I’ve even been successful, but its not wise. Your best bet is if “the officer doesn’t show.” Which does happen, but rarely in Houston. Especially if your cop was in the “Traffic Enforcement” division. The city may be full of politicians, but every now and then they have a spark of intelligence. They realize that if the officer doesn’t show, they don’t get their money. So now chances near 100% that if your officer is still working for HPD, he’ll show. You don’t have any other cases to wheel and deal with, so you’re options come down to convincing the city attorney, the officer, and the judge yourself to give you a deferral (when you could have just taken defensive driving), or fighting it. Well, if you’re convinced this is the way to go then insist on a jury trial. Otherwise the judge decides your verdict, the judge employed by the city, the city that wants your money, how do you think that turns out? So like I said, opt for the jury trial. These are usually mini-juries, 6 ppl instead of 12. So you’ve got to convince atleast 4 ppl to let you slide. So you’ve got a 66% chance? Just remember that these 6 ppl are most likely ticked off that they’re having to waste their day serving on a jury and may convict you out of spite. Also, this isn’t the Peoples Court, the judge doesn’t walk you through it while you just stand there and tell your side of the story. No, its more like Jeopardy, you have to phrase everything as a question. The city attorney will go first, so watch him. He’ll put the officer on the stand, ask him how long he’s been an officer, establish his credibility, then ask him specific questions about how he observed you speeding, how he verified it with the infallible radar gun, how you’re speed was much faster relevant to the other cars you were passing, etc etc. Then its your turn… So what questions are you going to ask???

That’s about it really, unless you’ve already taken defensive driving once this year. The state says you can only take it for the dismissal of a ticket once in a 12 month period. However, if a judge orders you to take it as a requirement of deferred adjudication, it doesn’t matter. So, you’ll be going option #2, hire an attorney, and get the judge to put his magic stamp on an order allowing you to take defensive driving again.

It looks like a house again!
Bricks are done, trim is done. All that’s left is to paint it and find someone that can remove the damn tire tracks from my front yard. The general repairs were done by Freeman Remodeling and Repair (281-639-8446). Paul does great work.

Almost done, just gotta clean up.

Look the bricks “almost” match the other column.

Ok, so the bricks went up the other day. This is taking its toll on me. I worked a 12hr shift, got off at 7am, brick guy showed up 10 minutes after I got home and we got started. Worked all day and got to bed 28.5 hours after waking up the day before. He does go work tho, His name is William 281-481-0835 (I plug anyone who helps me :). One problem was that they quit making the bricks for my house 15 years ago, I think we got a pretty close match tho.

See, they almost match

I’ve been sweeping up pieces of my house all wknd, but it didn’t really hit home (pun intended) until I saw my house numbers laying in the dump today.

House at the dump

Here’s the state of things as of right now…

Scroll down for pics
So, its 01:45, I’m laying on the couch watching Raymond and had actually just nodded off when…

BAM!

It was loud and rumbling, as I first woke up I thought “Man, that lightening is close”, then I heard the engine bouncing off the rev limiter and tires squeeling and realized it must be a car wreck. I was hoping it was the intersection infront of the house, but no such luck. I yelled at Cathy to call 911 as I pried the front door open, and see a damn car in my garage. I slip on my shoes and grab my flashlight and saw two ppl inside the car pretty bloody. The driver wasn’t moving and the passenger was freaking out trying to get out of the car but her door was pinned so she climbed over the back seat and out the back door. Now there’s a bloody chick in her underwear telling me “He’s trying to kill me, He’s drunk!”. So, I take her inside and give her a towel and lock the front door just incase he is trying to kill her and go back out to see about him. Well, he’s moving now but not much. I bang on the glass and shine the lights in his eyes and ask him if he’s ok and he just waves me off. I tell him the ambulance in on the way and he gets pissed off and yells, “I heard you!” So my concern for him starts to drop pretty quickly and right about then I notice the cop car pulling up on the scene. Turns out they were just 2 blocks away rapping up another call. They pull the driver out and fool can’t even stand on his own two feet. Now the passenger is back out asking the cops to get her pants and jacket out of the car and saying she told him he was too drunk to drive, to which he allegedly replied, “I’ll show you how drunk I am.” Well thanks Jack for using MY frappin house to make your point. One neighbor 3 houses down came by saying it woke him up, but nobody else woke up. Which is good, ’cause now it’s 3am and I’m hammering and nailing a tarp to the side of my garage to cover the gaping hole IN MY HOUSE!
Now, I’m sure I sound pissed, but I’m very thankful that nobody was seriously hurt, that this Jackhole didn’t have his kids in the car, that he didn’t hit the front of the house where the bedrooms are, that he didn’t hit our cars, that cathy’s car wasn’t in the garage at the time, that the wretched smell of burning rubber finally aired out of the house…
Oh, did I mention he “may not have insurance”? Yeah, just friggin great. Home cheese can put rims on his 4-door accord, but “may not” have insurance.

Can somebody tell me when honda came out with this model civic?

Civic Sex

Some ppl just can’t follow directions…

Zack just has to break the rules.

Image submitted by Zack

You know you’ve made it in this world when your blog gets spammed. Well, now to enter a comment, you have to read the word in the image and type it in. To make it easier I picked some fun words such as “poo”, “monkey”, and “chicken” just to name a few. Also, if you happen to be blind yet can still work a webbrowser, you can click on the word and an mp3 pops up and recites the letters. Before you ask, its not my voice, it came with the plugin. And if you don’t like the word, you can just click refresh to get a new one. You might wanna do this before you type in your comment, as hitting refresh will wipe that out. -Kyle